Q&A with Marlene Aguilar
by Inday Espina-Varona
 THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE. THIS COULD BE ONE WAY how “Philippines,” a coffee table book of Nik Masangcay’s watercolor paintings with text by Marlene Aguilar,could best be described. Love it or hate it, there’s something schizophrenicabout the coffee table book, “Philippines.” Then again, everything in life is relative. One person’s split personality may be the perfect example of yin-yang to another. Writer Marlene Aguilar explains it best in an exclusive interview with the Philippines Graphic.
Graphic: Doing background research, I ran into several people who said they admire you. But their tone was wary, expressions guarded. It was like somebody admiring a pit bull; you’re awed but you’d rather the beast stays at a distance. Why is that?
Aguilar: People either like me or hate me. I think that I say things they do not want to hear.
What things in particular?
I question the system in the Philippines. I question how history was written. I question —I question the world. I question ‘us.’ I question why we are suffering. I question our government. I question the Church.
Many people raise the same questions. What is it about you that fans controversy?
I think the reason why I am controversial is because I am a writer. And I am also my own publisher.
You’re a rich writer.
A rich writer?
Not every writer can be his or her own publisher.
I am controversial because as a publisher I am free to print what I want to print.
Well, there’s censorship and there’s consulting people for advice. Do you consult people before coming out with a new book? And what are the parameters?
Yes, I have friends who are very close to me. I value their advice. These friends of mine teach me wisdom, knowledge. So I ask them. I have these two friends; to me they represent the innocence of the world. They are not capable of harming anything. And I have another friend who uses both left and right parts of the brain. He has a great mind, great perception. So I ask him. There are a few people. I admire my partner, I hate the word husband; it sounds like a prison sentence. I believe my partner is one of the great minds in development banking. I am difficult; it is impossible to bend my will but I will listen to reason. I listen to people whose minds I respect and admire.
What kind of people earn your respect? What kind of people do you care for?
I admire people with high intellect, who exercise freedom of speech and who show kindness.
People like that often get into trouble? What kind of serious troubles have you had?
Trouble? Interesting. The kind of people I allow into my life, I’d divide them into two groups — artists and criminals. But the kind I’m about are not petty criminals. They’re the kind of criminals that question the institution, that question the government. I think most people in the world follow the institution; they follow rules and regulations because these people do not want to think.
How do you deal with people in power? I’m sure you deal a lot with these people.
I have known a lot of people in power and from different parts of the world. Unfortunately I think that politics and powerful positions attract the wrong kind of people.
You talk about courage. Sometimes that makes people do terrible things. What’s the most horrendous error you’ve made?
I don’t think it’s a terrible thing. I think it’s the right thing. It’s the right thing to question. I don’t think there can be growth or wisdom unless you question the system. For example, the system in the Philippines is not working for us; it is cheating us.
Is that why people are leaving the country?
People are leaving the country because they hunger; they are hungry. People are leaving because at this point they are not getting what they need. But I think people are leaving only to earn a living. I don’t think they are leaving because they don’t love the country anymore. It’s out of survival. I think this people would rather be here. It has nothing to do with lack of love. I stayed away for a long time. I left the Philippines to find myself. When you put your hand close to your face, you don’t have perspective. It is only when you distance yourself from your country, from your people that you can see it from a better perspective. It was my departure, my stay in the US for 11 years that gave me an ethno perspective of my country, my people and my history. Maybe if I hadn’t left, I would be jaded like most people who are here.
So where would you situate the Philippines in the world scheme of things?
Three years ago I went to Hanoi, Vietnam. On leaving the airport, I saw rice fields, a farmer working with his carabao. And the sun was setting and I said to my partner that there is something very spiritual about the east that you can never find it in the West. There is something about Third World countries in this part of the world. Although in material possessions people are poor, in some ways they are so rich — they give themselves, they give their hearts, they give what money cannot buy. There is generosity you cannot find in First World countries; it just doesn’t exist. And I said if to become a First World country means to lose this spirituality, I’d like to see the Philippines poor.
That’s what people say, an apology from those who benefit from this poverty, those who want this system that keep so many people poor, to continue.
But poor in what way? No, I don’t think they are poor because they are hungry. I have seen countries that are more hungry than the Philippines but they are free. They are proud.
And we are not. Why aren’t we?
Because we were colonized. Our minds are colonized. We are prisoners of our colonial past. I have been to other countries — Micronesia, Fiji — my God they are so poor but they are proud. Pride has nothing to do with money. Pride is of the spirit. There are no beggars on the streets.
Are you blaming the colonizers or are you blaming Filipinos for succumbing to the colonizers?
I don’t put blame on individuals. I put blame on the system. But at the end of the day it is up to the person, in the end it is up to the individual to set himself free. It is up to us to set our spirit free. We have to be proud of who we are. A child who grows up with no confidence will never be successful; he will never have power. The same thing with this country; Filipinos are suffering from an identity crisis. And we will never be successful unless we take pride on who we are.
How could a person who can’t eat three meals a day, who worries about how to get the next meal, send the kids to school…
I grew up poor.
How did your family find pride?
I went to public school, yung mababang paaralan ng Pio del Pilar. I had to share a single galunggong with my two brothers and sister.
How did you learn confidence, all of you, all achievers?
Because our poverty did not stop our growth. We are always told by our parents that our forefathers — we come from the north, they were pure Ilocanos — we were told by our parents and our grandparents that we had a rich cultural heritage and that we should always be proud of our bloodline. So we were poor but that didn’t stop us. At the end of the day, you have your mind and your heart. That’s it! Poverty is not an excuse.
How does it feel to be Ilocano and have a brother who sang the song that brought down a dictatorship?
I am very proud of my brother. It is a source of inspiration to me to come from the same family. Of course, we don’t agree on a lot of things. But I am proud of him. What we have in common is love of country.
What were the things you wouldn’t have learned if you hadn’t left the country?
I went to college in the States. And I saw how lost people are when they don’t have the strength of family that we have. It is a country where they tell you to go after material things. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it should not be the priority. What I learned in the States is that our country, which is poor in financial matters, is rich in what money cannot buy. We are so generous of ourselves, with our hearts.
And this is what you are trying to show with your books?
My books. I believe they showcase art and culture, which is the heart of our country. I believe art and culture are the soul of our nation but it is the last of priority of our government or the business sector. If we damage our soul, we damage our nation. And we have such a damaged culture. I am here to defend our art and culture.
Are your books a losing proposition? Even if you sell each for P5,000 will you even recover the cost?
My books are less expensive than other coffee table books published in the Philippines.
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